The Burial of Non-Jewish Spouses and Children on Jewish Cemeteries

The  Committee on Jewish Law and Standards of the Rabbinical Assembly (Conservative movement), recently published the following Responsa regarding the burial of non-Jewish spouses and family members on Jewish cemeteries.

The Jewish Cemetery Association of Massachusetts has been ahead of the curve for over 10 years at its Beit Olam Cemetery in Wayland.  In 1999, when the cemetery was consecrated, JCAM ensured that the burial of non-Jewish spouses and their children would be part of the religious regulations at this cemetery.

This responsa below validates JCAM’s ongoing commitment to bury “non-Jewish dead and comfort their mourners so that we follow the ways of peace.”

JCAM is currently expanding the Beit Olam Cemetery with and additional 7,700 gravesites to accommodate the growing interfaith Jewish community.
Click below to read the full 12-page Responsa.

Rabbinical Assembly Responsa

Who Is A Jew?:The Question of Patrilineal vs. Matrilineal Descent

The Status of Children of Mixed Marriages

They say if you ask 2 Jews a question, you’ll get 3 answers. But when it comes to the question of what defines a person as a Jew, that’s a whole other story….Is it one who is born of a Jewish mother only? Or is it when either parent is Jewish? What becomes of the status of children born to mixed marriages when one parent is Jewish and the other is not? Is it DNA or is it defined as one whose heart follows and observes Torah?

These questions will you get an array of answers, opinions and a whole slew of controversy over the subject and depending on what branch of Judaism you follow, is yet another interpretation….

But a bit of research has uncovered some explanation of why for centuries a person’s status as a Jew was decided through the patrilineal line (e.g. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) and then became the defining factor in who was a Jew through the matrilineal line somewhere after the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 A.D.  Read some of the excerpts below from the Reform Movement.

The following is an excerpt from the Report of the Committee on Patrilineal Descent adopted on March 15, 1983 (Reform Movement’s Resolution on Patrilineal Descent)

“Both the Biblical and the Rabbinical traditions take for granted that ordinarily the paternal line is decisive in the tracing of descent within the Jewish people. The Biblical genealogies in Genesis and elsewhere in the Bible attest to this point. In intertribal marriage in ancient Israel, paternal descent was decisive. Numbers 1:2, etc., says: “By their families, by their fathers’ houses” (lemishpechotam leveit avotam), which for the Rabbis means, “The line [literally: 'family'] of the father is recognized; the line of the mother is not” (Mishpachat av keruya mishpacha; mishpachat em einah keruya mishpacha; Bava Batra 109b, Yevamot 54b; cf. Yad, Nachalot 1.6).”

“In the Rabbinic tradition, this tradition remains in force. The offspring of a male Kohen who marries a Levite or Israelite is considered a Kohen, and the child of an Israelite who marries a Kohenet is an Israelite. Thus: yichus, lineage, regards the male line as absolutely dominant. This ruling is stated succinctly in Mishna Kiddushin 3.12 that when kiddushin (marriage) is licit and no transgression (ein avera is involved, the line follows the father. Furthermore, the most important parental responsibility to teach Torah rested with the father (Kiddushin 29a; cf. Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De-a 245.1).”

To read the full text go to: Source: http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/patrilineal1.html

The following is an excerpt from the responsum on this subject from the Central Conference of American Rabbis (Reform), the full text of which may be found through this link: http://data.ccarnet.org/cgi-bin/respdisp.pl?file=38&year=carr

“We should contrast the rabbinic position to the view of the earlier Biblical and post-Biblical period. Patrilineal descent was the primary way of determining the status of children in this period. The Biblical traditions and their early rabbinic commentaries take it for granted that the paternal line was decisive in the tracing of descent, tribal identity, or priestly status. A glance at the Biblical genealogies makes this clear. In inter-tribal marriage paternal descent was likewise decisive (Nu. 1.2, l’mishpehotam l’veit avotam); the line of the father was recognized while the line of the mother was not (mishpahat av keruyah mishpahah, mishpahat em enah keruyah mishpahah, B. B. 109b; Yeb. 54b; Yad Hil. Nahalot 1.6, etc.).”

“We should also recognize that later rabbinic tradition did not shift to the matrilineal line when conditions did not demand it. Therefore, the rabbinic tradition remained patrilineal in the descent of the priesthood; it was and remains the male kohen who determines the status of his children. The child is a kohen even if the father married a Levite or an Israelite. Thus lineage was and continues to be determined by the male alone whenever the marriage is otherwise proper (M. Kid. 3.12; Kid. 29a; Shulhan Arukh Yoreh Deah 245.1).”

Interfaith Families

Traditionally it has been that only Jews could be buried on a Jewish cemetery. And today, that still holds true for the most part. But there are exceptions and  JCAM has made accommodations for Massachusetts’ growing Interfaith Jewish community.  JCAM’s Beit Olam Cemetery in Wayland, Massachusetts is one of the few Jewish cemeteries in the State that has an Interfaith section specifically to accommodate interfaith Jewish families.  With the changing face of the Jewish community and the current intermarriage rate being 50 percent, Jewish cemeteries around the nation need to begin to adapt to these changes.

But these changes open up a variety of issues related to burial and mourning customs for the interfaith family. How does a Jewish spouse grieve for his/her non-Jewish spouse?  Is Shiva observed? Does one say Kaddish for the non-Jewish spouse? How are funerals handled for the non-Jewish family member? Are only Jewish clergy permitted to officiate? Are there regulations regarding headstones?

In this category we will look at the various ways the Jewish cemetery community accommodates interfaith families and the complexities of these issues. Please feel free to ask questions or offer comments.